I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
