ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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