i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
