i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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