i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
