Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
