Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm always down for nudity.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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