A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
