he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
God I need to hump something, right now.
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