Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
