i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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