ugly people sure do ruin things
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
