it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
