If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
