I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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