Four minutes until I can fart!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
