hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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