are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
