The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
me + whiskey = a bad person
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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