I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
