party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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