so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
