I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My ATM looks so different sober.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
