Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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