I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize