This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
