it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
