Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
