if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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