i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
