She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
