every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I could make wine with my vomit
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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