You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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