apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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