The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
