; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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