How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
