why didn't you poke me back
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
