Buhtt sex?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
