Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
