I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
