i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My bed smells like the plague
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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