Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
