well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
