you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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