Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
