Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
