I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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