Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
