I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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