i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
