Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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