he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
