whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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