I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
