A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
