well I can't set my house on fire every night
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My life is pants optional.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
